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October 22, 2005
Does God have friends?
I had yet another birthday recently – a good thing, I suppose – and as I get older, each of these “special” days gives increasing occasion to look back on my life. And so, with some trepidation, I reflect back on the years I have lived, on the things I have done and the things that have been done to me. And as I look, I don’t see what I would like to. If I set up a scale, and put everything that I am happy about on one side, and the things I wish I had not done on the other, I don’t like what I see. I don’t see a life that I want my children or anyone else to model. Too many mistakes and bad choices. Sad.
But there is one exception in that mix.
For as long as I can remember, it seems like I have had something pulling me toward God, and I have had a deep longing for a relationship with God. I am happy for that. I have wanted to be, like some biblical figures, a friend of God. This is something I pray for my children.
But, as I think of the question, “What is it like to have God for a friend?” I have a lot of questions, and not many clear answers. It would seem, from my perspective, that being God’s friend would result in a life that “worked” and was generally recognized as a pretty good life, something worth having. But it doesn’t often seem to happen that way.
As I try to understand this, and try to not get discouraged about things in life, I have to look at scripture, because it’s about the only place where I can see “case studies” of people who seemed to want God as their friend. Or, wanted or not, they wound up with some sort of more substantive relationship with God. Three guys come to mind right off: Abraham, Moses and David.
Abraham had a strange pattern in his life. First, God called him to pack up and move, a long ways, with only uncertainty ahead. He did that to me, also. Then, he was way rich. Well, one out of two is still batting .500. Abraham lacked for nothing in the material world, considering the resources of the time in which he lived. Finally, he left a legacy that was beyond awesome. No single individual in all of history has made as great a difference in the world as Abraham and his progeny. And yet, he made some really big mistakes – I like that – and he had to undergo some really hard times of testing.
His mistakes – three come to mind – included letting his wife be taken into a harem, not once, but twice. (And the first time, in Egypt, I believe there is a good argument that she was sexually compromised.) What could he have been thinking? This sort of action is utterly incomprehensible to me by any reasonable standard. And the third was giving in to his wife and agreeing to father a child by a servant. What kinds of problems came from that! Abraham comes across to me as sometimes lacking character and backbone. Yet, God continued to use him, despite his very human failings.
We see another side of him at the “binding” of Isaac. This account – so horrific to us that we simply cannot agree on what really happened – is beyond imagination. If I were in his place, and my daughter on the alter, what would I do? I honestly cannot say. I don’t know. The entire scenario is too hard for me to imagine.
But as I look at Abraham, I see something we have in common: An ability to do the right thing paired with an ability to really screw up.
Then there was Moses, whose relationship with God was simply breathtaking. He was another example for us, but from a little different perspective. Moses was God’s unwilling friend. Moses was not like Abraham: He did not hear the call of God and obey. Rather he heard the call and said, God, I don’t want to do this. Call someone else. But God was not interested in what Moses wanted.
And so it appears that it’s possible to be a “friend” of God by God’s choosing, and not ours. Putting them together, it seems that God uses people who have major “flaws” – they are seriously screwed up – and He is not above going out and recruiting them, even against their will. Seems that, for the big jobs, He does this more than He uses volunteers. Hmm. An army with drafted leaders.
David is the third case that comes to mind. Here was someone with the natural gifts and talents that make him a logical choice for leadership. And God chose him. And then, after God assured David of his choosing, He let him wander about in the wilderness, hunted like a wild animal, for nearly 10 years. And when we look at David we see a man whose heart was clearly God’s, but who often didn’t live that out well. Ever hear of Bathsheba?
As I have considered David, it seems to me that one might make a case that he was an illegitimate son. I have found that this idea really raises the blood pressure of some folks, but I think it explains some things. First, his father didn’t even consider him when asked to bring his sons to the prophet. Second, David wrote a song about “being conceived in iniquity,” which we take to mean having a sinful nature. But what if this is not a profound theological statement, but rather a simple statement of his own origin? Then there was David’s own parenting record: He was a great poet, musician, and military leader. As great as he was in these areas, he failed equally as a father.
Everything about David’s history as a father suggests that he had no idea what he was doing. Could it be that he had never experienced a real father? Who knows, but it seems plausible.
And all that is very encouraging to me, because my father died while I was still a young boy, and I grew up in a home that could only be called strange and malfunctional. I have not made every boneheaded mistake possible, but I have overlooked only a few. And yet, for whatever incomprehensible reason, God has chosen me to bear his name and carry his appeal to the world. For whatever reason, God has chosen me to be his friend. And that leaves me speechless.
Posted by at October 22, 2005 09:45 AM
Comments
why would you want to befriend a mass murderer[via the flood,his only human born son,the first born of egyptian heirarchy and dont forget the puishment for breaking acommandment]death,death,death thats almost all he knows.
Posted by: tom gray at October 25, 2005 11:24 AM
This clearly comes from someone who doesn't truly understand what LIFE is. (speaking of prior comment)
Posted by: LKH at November 2, 2005 11:01 AM
Mr. Gray does not understand how noxious and reprehensible sin is to a perfect and holy God. He also does not grasp that God is God and since he brought man into the world, he can take him out. period. The flood happened because mankind had become so reprobate that the Bible comments, "his every thought was only evil continually." Man goes along thinking God's patience is a sign that there is no God, when God is really giving mankind time to turn from his wicked ways. There is a time when God's longsuffering is over. And THAT is a scary thought. God has every right to judge his creation.
Posted by: LY at November 18, 2005 10:30 PM
In creating us, doesn't that make us his children? How many of you have children (more than 1)? I do. I have learned that each child behaves differently and needs different disciplining. One child reacts to the rod and another reacts to guilt. IF God created ALL of us wouldn't we ALL need different disciplining when not doing what we are told and harming others or ourselves? Sin? Isn't that what it's all about? He says don't and we do for one reason or another and have to pay the consequence for our actions. My God is at a place of patience because we have grown from the times of world floods and turning cities into fire.
God told his children (Moses, David, Abraham…) to do what they were told when they were told to do it.
The bible is geology of one line of Gods children from the first created to Jesus. I believe this, and bare with me on this for a second, What if Adam lived and died because he decided to have the “knowledge” of God (tree of good and evil) that God warned him not to do because it would be painful beyond belief to experience this. Now lets say the Adam had to live ALL of the lives to experience ALL knowledge of good and evil…both sides.
Once Adam finished, and became one with God (where all Christians want to be), he would most likely have pity on the rest of us that are following. In loving us, Adam asks God if he could go back and teach the holy words and pave a new way for the sinner so his father wouldn’t have to judge each and every one of us to the extent of his laws. He who believes in me father, you could forgive or at least put first in line for judgment?
Then God say’s, if that is your wish son, it will be very painful as you know and you will be beaten and chastised and mocked but I will allow you to do this for them. I will call you Jesus…
Mr. Grey, how dismal it must be to live without hope. You may not believe in a one true God, but what if your wrong?
I live my life loving and talking with God. If I’m wrong, big deal right? Lights out! If I live as it sounds you do, I would rather not be wrong.
Posted by: Jeff at November 22, 2005 04:17 PM
Avi, i have serious question for you. I heard the song "I am a friend of God" ... a new uptempo worship song written by Michael Gungor and Israel Houghton. While I liked the song, I felt uneasy about the fact that it seems that while I am singing it I am self-proclaiming that I am a friend of God. I say proclaiming in the sense that it is me, the person singing, who seems to be making that judgment. Kind of like, lets say you know someone famous, like "Bruce Springsteen." Do you ever like to hear someone saying "I am a friend of Bruce?" "Yeah right" you think, I wonder if Bruce consider you his friend? It just strikes me as brazen, forward, somewhat arrogant, and over-assuming, as I chant "I am a friend of God." Jesus said those who follow my commandments are my friends. In the case of Abraham, he trusted God and it was counted righteousness to him. In both cases, there seems to be a third party making the judgment as to whether the subject is in fact a 'friend of God.' Second point, while Jesus used the term friend, I am having a hard time using that term in regard to my relationship to the almighty, all-holy, Creator of the universe... 'friend?' seems a bit diminutive and inappropriate. Am I way off base here? I feel there is a lack of respect for who God is, when we toss around a word like 'friend' so casually. Your thoughts?
Posted by: Friendornot? at February 28, 2006 08:10 AM
Friend,
You raise a good question. Am I God's friend? That's a different thing than my saying God is my friend, I think. I can say without question that God is my friend.
But am I God's friend? Well, first, I think it's God's prerogative to say who is his friend and who is not. And we should not be presumptious. However, if God has set forth clear conditions for entering into friendship with him, and we meet those conditions, then perhaps we can consider ourselves his friends. Jesus said pretty clearly that some people are indeed his friends.
For me, a deep longing of my heart is that God consider me his friend. And in my spirit, I think He does. I also believe that He passionately loves me and delights in me, which makes friendship a pretty easy deal, actually.
My concern is that the idea be thrown about in a casual manner. It is no small matter to be God's friend. Read about Abraham and Moses. So, I long to be God's friend, and I think I might be his friend, but I never want to assume or take that status for granted.
Posted by: Avi at February 28, 2006 12:12 PM
I'm surprised no one has quoted any Bible verses yet, James 2:23 says "and the Scripture was fulfilled that says, "Abraham believed God, and it was counted to him as righteousness" - and he was called a friend of God."
Posted by: Glen Massey at March 30, 2007 10:55 AM
I have to admit that the song "I Am A Friend of God" left me a little uncomfortable, but only because the enemy has tried to convince me (and has alomost succeeded) that I have very little worth to God. In John 15 beginning in verse 9 Jesus speaks of who His freinds are. Those that obey His commands and then He goes on to tell us what that cmmand is ... to love one another as he has loved us. It also states that God himself loves US as He loves Jesus! I can hardly wrap my mind around that. But it is not with my mind that I beleive, but with my heart. That is faith. Jesus said He no longer calls us servants, but friends ... look it up yourself. His love for us is (just as the song says) AMAZING.
Posted by: Angela at May 2, 2007 02:49 PM
When I first heard this song I thought it was backwards; that it should be "God is a friend of mine", someone declaring the choice they have made to follow and go with God by calling Him their friend. However, what a striking thought this is: "I am a friend OF GOD's!" God has chosen me! Absolutely amazing that God, the almighty creator of the universe, would even know my name, let alone entertain the idea of calling me, a sinner, His friend.
Posted by: Michelle at July 18, 2007 02:02 PM
Why in the world would we want to get so excited about being a "friend of God" when we are actually considered closer to him than any friend..... sons (and heirs) of God. Read Romans 8:10-17. I also have a hard time with the self-proclaiming of being a friend (or a son), therefore I do not like the song. How do we know *for sure* we are truly living the way God wants us to? Another two cents worth....
Posted by: Jeff at September 25, 2007 03:02 PM
God chose us all to be His friends and that's the way the song goes.
Posted by: Jaakko at November 17, 2007 05:00 PM
The concept of being God's friend is so far out there that most of us don't truly grasp its significance. If we look at history, both Biblical and our own personal one, we will see that knowing God is an ever evolving process. God begins as a Judge, which is not the greatest relationship for us but one that we need. Next God becomes a King, which is a little less intimidating but one in which He is clearly way up there and we are way down here, but again one that we need in our development. In the next stage God becomes our Father, which is much more intimate and loving, and a wonderful relationship, but still a bit intimidating. We're still being ruled over, so to speak. Next, God in the person of Jesus becomes our elder brother. This almost evens the relationship but not quite. Finally, Jesus calls us his friends. There is no subservience in such a relationship. We now share our problems with God not as "reporting in," as we might to a parent, but as we would to a friend, in which there is a sort of partnership, a working together to deal with things. When you talk to God and act like He's your best friend, and no longer any of those other roles, you will experience life like never before. This is not to say God is no longer great and omnipotent. Nor am I saying you can become lawless and careless; in such a case you will find your relationship circling back to Father, King, Judge if it is needful for you to relearn some old lessons. But once you're God's friend you will find that going backward is the last thing you want to do.
Posted by: Kevin at December 29, 2007 06:50 PM
